ST46 ... The Bloody Birth of Edward Walzak
a man sucked into the future
On the trail to the essence of the heart Edward Walzak fell many times. The first moment he made a promise to the heavens and broke it, life changed, images twisted, concepts flaundered and left no home. He was on his own, alone, slightly bent. Eddy managed to break thru the streets of nonsense with a fractured heart but in tact enough to crawl thru walls of deception, authority and brains bound for prisons.Â
oh yea, that dream
guilt drags you along
till the rust of time
begs you a home
with moments gone
The days turned into evenings and nights into day. Life slid through the plains like butter and a knife, hotter than hell sometimes and cold blizzards at moments when all thought fell apart, frozen / shattered. He couldn't determine whether he was a genius or just a high-mind twisted away from the straight and narrow. In contrast to the world of possessions, comfort and security, the possessed, he was slim, a thin man. On the other hand he walked into more dark space than most would in a few lives. Meaningless i suppose, he was crippled in times of being out front, exposed in public to present, anything. Ed hated exposure, display situations, authority, teaching. He knew there was nothing much to teach but the understanding of nothing much to teach —— most always.
Culture slapped him from behind, tortured futures, belittled him in front of his friends, brainwashed his family, but he survived. The lawyers and doctors, mechanics of brains and all the institutions lied, straight out, all over the media and just about everyone sucked it in like a salvation. Hypocrites, politicians, scientists and phony artists and saints everywhere. Where is one to go but within, 'there is hardly a ritual left to surrender to', he thought.
Back in the saddle, a hard ride south, heat rising up from societies ideals, a fresh water lake appeared with hidden dangers but refreshed his skin, cooled him deep. He was saved for awhile. 'Think i'll hang around here till night falls and slip past these borders to another frontier and live another day, light dancing free'.
Up easy, the sunlit grass and tips of leaves pushing up the syrup of their ways, elevation by the ether, a purpose befell to his mind. 'Life rises to the ether, consciousness devours spirit-love, deceases towards death-energyless and continues towards the rawness of micro-matter and smaller, on to nothingness, the pure absolute spirit. The human purpose; to surrender to life, live, be, do, breathe'…… 'answers must die to thoughtless awareness, to put it simple', he thought.
A bloody birth is coming. The ruins of dogma is collapsing the architecture of the mind, one by one, two by two, falling. Dimensions beyond the paradox of the mind is unfolding across the jungles of knowledge and simple thought. A new understanding is lurking in the doorways of culture. New form is enveloping thru our hearts. Mankind is in the struggle of change beyond comprehension and the rigid light of perception, pre-thought is bending quick. It's a bloody mess in the backroads of distress, desperate to hang on to the past the fashion, change is slow along the speed of time, burgundy, a blood bath, full of everything embracing ‘being born’.
The reason reason is dead, dying, is uncertain but true. How can one know, that? The monkey is watching, the sky is turning grey, flowers bloom for nothing, water is in the wind, the answer is walking with eternity watching crippled logic from within, disintegrating into the pure source beyond, inside imagination, dimensionless…….and, 'here i am', he thought, 'conscious, awake, aware and moving'. No purpose but to ‘see……be, do, think, scrape off the conclusions as they rip thru the skull, and feel alive, the beauty that surrounds, the pull of love everywhere, the ether, mystery, this endless unknown’.
Eddy says, "life isn't absurd, just the thought of it".
Eddy was a bloody mess but he was born again. He crawled thru the tunnel of maya like a madman, bent his mind out of shape, searched thru endless darkness, walked straight thru the avenues and boulevards of reason and digitized deceit to here, this world of mysterious creatures; no known purpose, just the moment without time and you. Eddy was a man in the future, sucked in thru the ether to the mystery he calls 'love'.Â
Edward Kozak died suddenly from heart complications on his way to the market for a few potatoes and spices. He was preparing a soup for some neighbours to celebrate nothing much.
No one made a big fuss over his passing. In less than a generation he was forgotten and the last remnants of his life lay hidden away under numerous unrelated files in some data bank doin a bunch of nothing in humanities archives disintegrating, and of course, the ether.
Eddy's favourite phrase, (from a Lennon song) was, 'let me take you down, where nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about'…that was what he thought was, 'the way to be, free'.
All about Eddy
Everybody is trying to sell you something, if it isn't some ideals floatin around in their heads, it's a car or a couch or a piece of bacon for your dog, it's always something. That's people living to exist, taking life steps beyond the need, to that enormous territory of want, want, want.
I want response, good, bad or ugly, doesn't matter to me…., let me know if i've been seen.
patrick
ps: all images from my collection, shot in Belarus territory; Edward lives everywhere.
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I’m thinking Eddy Walzak would have been a great friend of Alfred Prufrock- and of course you too, Patrick.
T.S. Elliot would have enjoyed reading your Eddy story. And I as well.!!!
Reflection: In those privileged moments of being present at birth and death, those punctuations of life, '....' and '.' have shown me that it is Relationship that Is. All else is commentary. Eddy Walzak.