ST45 ... Whispering Heart
Life is connected everywhere this way
Down the hallways of my mind i saw you watching me, in your wool sweater, with a breeze rustling your golden hair you smiled that smile, that one that would melt time and pierce hearts. In the distance walls were closing in. I glanced back while you were whispering your soft voice to an open ear. I could almost smell your essence rising up from your slender neck as your voice faded into the mist. On the road to happiness i felt your presence always close and your strength to be free thru any circumstance surround me with a tough gentle love.Â
In the evening when the sun was setting, turmoil flashing across the fields of possessions, i pondered on our love and our infinite embrace that stretched across the landscapes of eternity for this moment with you. Things die, memories end, reality bends thru truth like a blade of grass blowin by the wind.
I woke up to the sound of some distant song bird questioning existence with a few simple notes gliding its way up into the heavens. I felt just like that bird as i hugged my pillow again and dreamt of you with your sweet skin and tender kiss tingling molecules inside my heart.
Moments later the morning unfolded into the regular sounds of work. I was in-between jobs. I always was. I delivered packages around the community from whom knows what to you don't want to know what. The world of possessions was over flowing. Warehouse eyes were bulging in the dreams of heads heading towards tomorrow. I picked up my morning run and moved out into the streets of modern times.
I was a writer, in between, making money to exist. I worked off and on for years before i got a real break. A publisher accepted a group of essays that spanned a few decades of thought. Thought that would clasp my fingers in the most severe times. I wrote when i was disturbed, bound for the surreal, gripped with the either rushing thru my brain.
That morning i had a small package heading towards a mystery. Down a long single lane sided by shades of grass spring green, up around a mountain side of pine and hemlock i felt special. The cabin was immersed in the beauty one sees when one is altered by angels. Something sent my mind into a trance, before i even got to the door i knew this moment would change me for ever.
The door opened. She stood there with her long grey hair, delicate and a smile that could move time, shift a heart into the presence of magic.
The sun set that night and for the coming years ahead that cabin became my home. I wrote this there thru the shades of my mind down the hallways of time through the mystery and magic of you and your whispering heart.Â
My life ended there they say. My love died before me, left me alone with the spirits of things gleaming about the trees, wavering thru moist air, colours spanning the earth into my eyes. Memories folding over dead trees and daffodils blooming across fields, i hesitated while i sang life into your heart. Dimensions of certainty caressed me from day to day as i wilted away into your dream and ended as all things must, into the unknown darkness of love and light.
I write of dreams and fantasies that i can not own. The beauty that surrounds me kisses me. I am a nowhere man attempting to clench a segment of reality that it may span a few more light years to caress my awareness of forever just to feel your dream, endless.
My loneliness is so full. It can not find the fast changing truth that appears to be expected of a man in this world, in these times, in these minds.
I want to dive into the abyss always, end this room of ends and boxed in realities. I write the dreams of the heart for the lonely ones as myself, the dreamers, beauty flowering your being. Everything about you i want forever, never to end. I want to hold your body in my fold, in the space of warmth and tender awareness. I want to smell every smell of you, taste all your perfumes, listen to all you are. In the twilight of your soul i want to live forever.Â
Reality comes crashing down into my mind as thunder strikes the sweet sounds of your lips, leaves me soft and frightened and wounded for death to be gentle with us. I am in you, you are in me, i am part you, you are part me. Life is connected everywhere. Love is the mycelium of the universe.
The small package was a book , ‘Illuminations by Arthur Rimbaud’.
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