ST30 ... Trip notes

Sitting in the airport watching strange people.

Sitting in the Naniamo BC airport watching strange people. The loneliness from days passed has slipped into these moments between the presence of observations to waste my time and the desire to hold on to things fading. I will eventually carry on with what's left into the future like a man with no particular place to go. I am a traveller, been that way all my life. I eventually just warp into time present. People-watching has always been a favourite pastime. Ninety percent these days are on a devise. We are all addicted to avoiding the presence of life. No one talks to one another, strangers stay strange and distance stays distant. It's a strange planet.

Evil entered into the night of last created out of thick air, desires intermingled to the depths of dreamtime, fears living out abstractions in the minds of those concerned. Black energy weeping in the dark, spirits torturing one another, laying foundations for future healing; if you're one of the lucky ones.

Now at the Vancouver airport, a five hour wait. I ponder over the friends i lost via the injection syndrome. Some out right will not talk to me anymore, distanced themselves. Others are a mixed bag of avoidance, back door talk, up close side stepping maneuvers. All in all it is extremely weird. There is now tons of information erupting onto the net with very grim conclusions, from centuries agendas to second by second sudden deadly discoveries exposing a very corrupt and evil world. I watch the people with their wheeled traveling bags stressed, worn out, motivated to bring all their lost dreams back home. Me too i suppose. 

SMA San Miguel de Allende main square…..ages of footsteps

I am turning the last few bends of my life, in great shape for my age and a constant flow of letters whipping across my finger tips. I have been accused of not being positive enough for the believers. I tend to think they don't look close enough across the pages of my life. I see what i see, feel what i feel, discover the fading truth when ever my mind lets go long enough to be 'in' the vision. I don't believe in after-life, before-life in the same way as most. I have discovered that all the desperate desire to feel in the know is an illusion. I feel i have travelled out-there in-there much more than most and i have found a dream time always on the move. There is no certainty anywhere, not in the mind, but i am not depressed or have found no way to be content. I find the magic and mystery of the universe is all i need. A simple breeze blowing thru the grasses, a glistening light shimmering across the sea, a coloured leaf alone on a lonely trail, a little child in an old mans body bewildered. I find truth is never absolute in the mind, always changing…i have some strange 'faith' in the 'way' but i have no clear idea how that really works, a mystery always so i choose to alleviate belief when ever i am strong enough, clear enough….and that's it, nothing saintly.

There are practises to clear the rubbish from the mind that is more lasting than other attempts, especially mind-thought-reason-logic which often keeps the grooves in and around the brain whether you want it or not, sinking deeper and deeper slits into the cells. There are shamanic practises to dig up the roots and make them disappear but they can be very tricky. Life is hard, difficult, mysterious and beautiful, full of sadness, despair, gratitude, miracles and glorious moments. Life is worth the living.

Bob Dylan was once asked in his younger first-few-album days why he wrote such depressing songs, he answered, "there is no such things as depressing words, just depressing minds". That is one answer, opinion and a good one; i say, "meaning may be meaningful but it's as real and lasting as a shimmering lake sliding across a hot desert afternoon"?

SMA…beauty in the darkened eyes of sadness

I'm in flight now, more than half way to Mexico city. It's relatively quiet in here, everyone with headphones immersed in a movie, the odd snore muffles the airplane air, i'm pondering over my existence. If my health holds out, life in Mexico could be rewarding. I'm in a gallery in SMA and maybe my work will begin a new walk thru the minds of particular art lovers. There are about fifteen very talented photographic artists from around the world. Not your typical scenic extravagant mesmerizing images, more the unique creative out of the box visuals with unusual printing techniques. Most of my shots are from my puddle series and most were taken in SMA last year just as the rainy season entered the city. SMA is one of the major art cities of Mexico. International art thrives there. (https://www.photogallerysma.com/)

Arrived, got a bus to Queretaro and now waiting at a cafe at the bus station for Arleta to pick me up and drive to SMA. It's early and i haven't slept all night. Wired on coffee with occasional issues that haunts my brain. Breathe well. It feels good to be back in Mexico. The people are much different, alive, more real, not so numbed- out as in the north.

What will become of all these words scribbled into some sense of it all? There is no ultimate goal here. A mind wandering thru this world with its own take on things. No credentials, no degrees, no expertise in the normal realm of this world. Just a guy that hit some hard travelling from alternative mind scapes to his own unique tormented suffering with also, ecstatic states few experience. What would one achieve from eating my words, what could it possibly do to help a hunger?

quaint cafe in the heart of it all

I've learned that most people need endings, summations, conclusions, finales, something to hang onto into their future, a lesson, an ideal to hold their minds together. I fail there. When there is no stable stationary meaning anywhere, let alone glued with these words, people are let down, left lost, uncomfortable, pushed out into the ozone, insecure and wasted. Sorry about that.

On a brighter note, a lighter topic, let's explore the day. Talk to you later.

I spend the day with Arleta, a friend we met last year. We travelled to SMA via her ranch of many casitas, a sweat lodge and over looking a valley of cactuses and desert foliage with immense beauty and serenity brushing off the breeze from her sincere efforts embedded in this land. There will be much more coming, in reference to her and this place. We are moving our hearts within this soil soon. I was burned out with absolutely no sleep from Monday morning until Tuesday night. Arleta amused my mind with all her warm stories and life-insight. It kept me curiously awake thru out the whole day.

This is my first day back in the land of many things. I sit in a favourite cafe with a cappuccino relaxing before i view all the things i must do to get my life here in order, if that is even possible.

wandering thru the streets of life

No matter where i go i occasionally have the thoughts of just how incredibly beautiful this earth is and how ridiculously mans mind has dishonoured it with insane conclusions about, just about everything. Sometimes it is a deep feeling to the depths of my being with tears emanating from a cosmic spirit air that will always remain sacred and curiously omnipresent. This comes and goes and leaves me in a calm sorrowful grateful state for moments as i adjust myself back into this world of beauty and disruption. This may be for short moments but it has the power to connect many of the sacred moments that moved within my heart at various times of my life…….but with a new connection and yet the full depth and beyond into realms unseen……it brings tears to my heart full of gratitude beyond any meaning possible. That is that.

In the evening dusk a rusted sun wrestles with eternity, surrenders to the inevitable shape of my mind as it slips beneath the endless horizon from across the golden sky of my life folding into a soft inviting darkening and illuminating death.

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WeyWord Times / Writing and Images by Patrick Wey

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Mystique of San Miguel de Allende … one of Patrick Wey’s images from collection at Photo Gallery SMA