ST25 ... A tale thru the darkside; stumbled upon a simple light.
I left the love i had by the edge of the night...
I have lost all touch to the clutch of thought, belief, to ideas as my maps. I have nothing left to hang onto. I have heard all the great escapes into some serenity, clarity of mind, formulas to heaven, enlightenment from jesus to buddha and thru the veins of love to the utmost compassion for everything.
I have seen it all from the best way to divide and multiply love to the equations of life itself. Down thru the corridors of new to the dungeons of past, spirits in total control to mind scapes of heavens and hells cast. I crash it all off and stand naked in the dust of time with eternity on my right and infinity in my arms and still, nothing to hang on to. Where does one go when everything is taken, done away with, obsolete and forsaken in the terrains of the heart.
Strange as it may seem somehow i can walk on. All the transfers, the gates, all the turmoil and despair vanishing into thin air leaving me here totally alone fading into waverly dreams slipping in and out of gravity for no reason, no stillness, no hovering for anything.
I left the love i had by the edge of the night and rambled off into the distance for there was nothing left to stay for. I had no particular place to go, no trust in anything could hold me, i was invisible, a magnet with a black hole to the core. What else could i do. No one really wanted me, no one could see me, i could not see myself. There was no self left to be, no exclusive identity to claim, so i wandered off into the hills of darkness and solitude.
No one saw me coming, no one saw me leave. There were tombstones at every corner and every turn involved great debates. I kept leaving things in the ditch.
One afternoon i fell in love with a fair haired damsel and that changed everything. All of a sudden i had a purpose as great as any. I could ponder thru realities for days on end just to see her smile. There was nothing i wouldn't do for her. That went on until it stopped and faded into the atmosphere. No matter how hard i tried to hold this love near it faded. I was back on the road to nowhere.
In the pain of all my love there was a madness that had to die, a sadness that went against everything that love was. In the end, the end too died and once again the great mystery smothered everything i ever was and ever could be and i was no more.
Tho i was nothing, a nobody, i continued to breathe, continued to follow the stream of things. Existed in a world that made no sense, the direction was vague, everyday gone astray. I could feel the pressure to be someone and the great rewards for showing up on time but it was all fake. No one was truly honest, no one cared for any great reason, everything was timed perfectly and the goals were all rigged. What was one to do, where to go?
The street lamps felt awkward in the setting sun and the romance of the moon was painted in silver stripes. Symbols and dancing machines controlled the traffic, everything was moving into high gear for the final take over. It was the worst time to be alive. You had to be a data junky to make a buck and the food supply was running thin. The holes in the attics were stretched beyond repair, the death count was climbing higher, the desire to kill was silently slipping down into the main stream. The whole world was tiltering towards the beast.
I left in mid-stream, i had nothing here to keep me. The last dance was ending and i was forgetting who ever it was, i was. There was no point in dragging down my love, that was the last thing that kept me alive, half sane.
Then something changed. Meaning crept into everything, raw and indescribable. The scene in the distance, the curb in the forefront, leaves blown against the street, crows hovering about, trees silhouetting themselves in fresh air, a dog running for fun, the whole mind control game, everything made sense all of a sudden with out a thought in my head. That was the day i began to live again. I was a simple light, walking thru the dark, in and out of existence like a shadow. To see without looking, an endless practise, lest we forget.
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A coffee. a like, a whisper.
WeyWord Times / Writing and Images by Patrick Wey
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Beautiful.
Happy NEW Year, hoping it's beautiful, too.
Love this Patrick