ST109 ... I'm on the inside looking out

that place where tears stand still

Mental downsizing against the rails of progress.

I'm on the inside looking out. The waves are crashing across the shoreline, my mind is in reverse. I'm leaving. I'm always leaving. Nothing stays still. My lover has left, she is always leaving, she’s a tumble weed, rootless. My friends are living somewhere, not here. Everything is alone, separate, individual, isolated. I am still, everything is moving. Slowly i crawl along to the edge, the horizon is falling over me. In time space moves in the background. All the world follows, i alone am still. I wanted so much to caress you, hold you away from the current, that push to get somewhere, that endless venture laid out like a knife.

Slowly i crawl along to the edge, the horizon is falling over me.

In the afternoon haze i stumbled over to the other side. I saw you there laughing about; some silly mood enveloped in pink. I approached invisible, out of range, away from the haze of the day. When you smiled i left, took the B train across the  continent, another globe, anywhere to get away. It was too much. I had to find that peace again, that solitude, that place where tears stand still.

In the ruins by the seaside, i pondered, stuck my heart inside and felt that lonely place, that place where saints play in jest. How come you still hang around there with your golden tears, your silver fears, your hollow vest and all the rest. Dreams dying for lack of breath, when you could have had it all, here on the beach to nowhere.

I walked on, sad, mellow, beaten and soft, i took the first turn away from the pretty-parade, that circus-drama, the dawn that never comes. A mental downsizing against the rails of progress.

a silent dawn thru a pretty-parade of panic

Through that dark i stumbled but it was clear. I saw the veil lift. There is a way out, the essence of faith is always close. One step forward, two breaths deep and the world is yours. You got this, just another trip around the bay, waves calm and time gently turning in on itself, surrendering. The way is obvious, truth is for all to see, if you got what it takes.

Through the dark where words disintegrate, into the clear sailing…

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