ST105 ... things have all cleared up

Eminent death tends to do that.

Things have all cleared up. Eminent death tends to do that. I have a brother on the edge of life, half his normal weight, slowly moving into the either. We said our goodbyes a few weeks ago when i was visiting the homeland. It's strange, life coming to an end. What needs to be said? not much usually, just the presence, the feel of hearts in all their essence, exposed naked vulnerable, eyes seeing softly, gestures true and simple. My brother and i have felt the touch of love so often, so deep, tears want to fall. I love you like no other. We travelled down some steep valleys, climbed a few mountains and caressed some tender love in the fields of alternative realms. I have already missed those, given them to the underground of memory lifes ago. We had parted, walked separately for years but the force of those years of childhood, teenage and young adulthood into the middle ages have depth beyond this life. It is time. It is the way things go. Death is our life, the cure for love, the way to the mystery.

Our favourite table at the Station, in the corner by the entrance; by the tracks heading out of here

More than likely i'll be around for awhile longer. I had watched over this body with a little more care but one never knows, there are no guarantees in this life. It could end in a flash of a moment, time is that way.

Remember the Queen St apartment, my life time love is still there, Susan. She is gone. A terribly sad story. We have so many sad stories. What have we done with our life? I want to scream, yell at the gods, wtf, who gave you the right to make this road so weird, so impossible, so absurd. I can't hinder on this, i never have, but really. I feel like getting drunk and staying there. I want an ecstasy experience to forget all i know, be in the love of it all. I have had it all…. thanks for that, so many have been without so much.

Brother Al, you have not read my writing for years. You were one of the few that saw my talent way back when. You got caught in a world that didn't exist, a mirage of syllables desperately looking for a word to describe itself. Regardless, we did it. We outlived brother Bill. That guy that kept us in check. He would be proud.

Allyn as Lawyer

Allyn this is for you. The many times at the Station hotel, our favourite table. I remember peaking into that very window when i was thirteen or so and seeing our mother drinking with some friends. That bar has the most memories, Bill and his Newfie buddies in the Casamia room. There were many moments that are disentangling themselves in the winds of yesterday. That is all that remains, scattered fragmented pieces of times gone. It is sad, melancholy, the way life constructs then tears apart. What more can one convey, from a distance as i, i write…. these words also will fade away, melt into the night, crumble into the pages of eternity. That's it, it all really doesn't matter all that much. What seems all so important will die. Some future will carry on with out us. Our life will be just another spec of sand along the beaches of the universe, so unimportant, so little, so invisible. Allyn, you're not heavy, you never were, you're my brother.

my last brother

I'll be heading out, going off alone. No one wants an old man. Wisdom is found on the internet. There is little need for an old soul these days. I still have the adventure in my heart, some fishing villa along the west coast of Mexico, a little cosita, a simple life gliding into the waves over the horizon, yes, that's where my destiny lies. We all end somewhere. There is nothing that needs to be. My end is the end, that is the way it is. Intelligence, humanities collective consciousness, eternal love, all that stuff, real or not, means nothing to me at the moment. If that is what is, well so be it. I need not to know. My life will end, all my dreams, my whole being is just nothing more than an invisible wave thru the illusions of time. It ends. We all end. Everything ends. Oh yea, the beginnings?

many pages ago - an empty kleenex box weighing down an underwood

There are very few moments in life that are embedded with the absolute intensity of pure love. We have travelled a few of those roads together. For that we have been blessed. Let us travel with our hearts down these last few trails knowing life was worth every spec of time, together, fragmented, broken and whole. A brother is like no other, we enter alone, we leave alone, keep walking, the other side is just ahead. I’ll be with you to the shores of the great waters and there we must let go. We have loved .

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WeyWord Times / Writing and Images by Patrick Wey

looks a bit like Jesus to me, must be a little Christ in all of us.