ST104 ... In a moment of despair time stood like steal
A Few Paragraphs-fragmented; segments hanging on to one another for real life
He was waiting for this break. It was forever since he started. Through every circumstance, every curve, wall, broken battle, he survived. He walked out strong. Nothing was too severe to hold him long. That was Billy, a boy artist in a man. He lived long, walked far, cared a lot, that was his road, his fate, a destiny made of pure mystery, an unknown wheel of faith. That is all that he was left with, some deep connection to move on, no matter how hard, how insane, how impossible, how absurd, there was always that essence of something, a will to move thru, to keep on keeping on.
This day was his first here. There were challenges he could never have imagined. His mind was twisted into mush, torn off its hinges, squashed into torment impossible to escape. He wavered, bent himself into realities destined to explode, nothing made sense, everything was evil, an enemy, energy made of raw devil. Somehow, he saw an escape, a flaw, a small gap of seeing clear, nothingness, eternity, light, love, observing the observed was one, only the slow realm of no attachment was imminent, the terrain moved in between itself, left no trace, moved…. i was that movement, i was being, i was not i, i am lost in the air of eternity, nothing but pure seeing.
Reason was crushed into fragments of nothingness and everything was known as known is, a timeless space a creation of form, a gift, a life, a way, a pathless trail.
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The future doesn't give a damn what i think, it's coming whether we like it or not. Is there more time in a slow exposure than a quick shutter speed image? Is time speeding up and our minds slowing down? Is there a reason for everything? Is there a place where reason is treason? Does entanglement entangle everything? Are there more moments now than there once was, in a given period of time? Is a moment a constant? Does parallel time have a source, a bend into each other, a cross road? What time is in now?
I think therefore i am not. I am virtual. I am an illusion, maya. I think i think but really thinking is me. Thinking and time are one. One is connected to everything, entangled totally. I is you, you is me, we are all together. I am a walrus. You are nothing without me.
We are moving into something new in every moment. Nothing is the same except our illusion of perception forever changing. Everything is similar and different, every form, every possibility.
I marvel at the absurdity of truth meandering across my mind. I am free to see. Nothing is real. Reality is an illusion full of life. Love appears everywhere tangled up in me. I am here. Time is moving past me sometimes slow, sometimes fast. I am time, time is me. Love is a moment in time.
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What do i care about the end of time, the new election, the favourite celebrity, the clown in a suit ruling an earth. I've got a cemetery to visit, ancestors talking to me, a rain in my coat, love knocking on my liver.
I don't need you and all your fuss about the future, caressing a past that never was. I'm free, free here, that's all, leave me alone. The dawn is breaking bread, awakening. I can hear nothing. That's everything. 'Good morning' i speak, to it all.
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The lone gunman, his family sleeping, a roof top view, the eternal saviour, a glass of wine, a desert of hope, a moth in night light. On the terrains of ideals, soup in the camp, life stretches off into walls. Everything waiting to exist, nothing is empty. I have a meeting with the coroner soon. There has been a death in the family. The mourners are getting ready for the feast. I have three last dreams on end. In a far off corner of a universe Billy is playing chess alone. The rodeo is in town. Someone is selling a stamp collection to a thief. The day is falling off its chair. The news is back on.
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James Hodgson
Wow that’s a solid metaphor if there ever was one. Love it, you can feel the words coming into your brain.